Thursday, June 5, 2008

It's Nearing that time..

So as my lovely bubbs pointed out to me today I have but 18 days left until my adventures in Manchester come to an end... I am losing so much this time.. I swear since I started uni I always just seem to keep losing the people that I come to love and adore. I mean don't get me wrong I miss my friends and family terribly.. but then I actually love my life here. I am doing what I love (styling), traveling, and being around amazing people who have helped me become an even better person than I ever thought I could be. My friends here though few, have taught me so much about life. Before I came here, I would have never considered myself narrow minded, or closed from experiences. Well I guess that's wear believing you can do something is different than actually doing it. It's so hard right now.. from one end my friends and family from home are so excited about my return then here my friends and boyfriend are terribly upset. I mean I have been with my bubbs for almost 3 years now and it just truly unfair really. Though I am young, and people always say there's always someone else out there for you, I know in my heart that my bubbs is "The One." It is the most amazing feeling I've ever experienced.

I know that my move to NYC in August is going to be life changing but that change was suppose to happen with him, you know?? NYC is such a scary place, the thought of me living there on my own is terrifying. I feel like I'm going to get lost, or become cold and distant. I want to have a new experience, a life altering one you know?? But who is so say this experience is going to be good and the optimistic side of me says who's to say it's going to be bad. I am really looking forward to starting my journey to my "adult" life. I got into the program at FIT and have already found some certificate programs in styling that should help me develop my skills. I hope the contacts I have in NYC will give me that edge in the industry. I so look forward to what's the next chapter in my life..

I guess this thing is helpful.. I just hope what's next includes more stability, if only for a bit you know.. because I'm realizing I have just about everything I've ever wanted.. love, happiness, amazing friends, and crazy yet loving family, and so much time ahead of me..

I guess only time will tell... xoxo

1 comment:

Megan said...

hey babe! I know you probably feel as though no one can relate to what your going through, because there are so many different variables which are involved and its unimaginable for someone else to have ever been in your shoes.
I can relate with having to leave a fiance, friends, God-daughter that I had raised, starting a new journey in life where your supposed to be excited but can't be, because of all the heat ache and tears. I am here for you, care billions for you, your in my thoughts and prayers.
Just know that I have had to walk parts of the journey your embarking on (more than once) and I am all ears for you, because no one knows the pain until they live it in flesh and tears!